problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
