I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
