drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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