There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
