Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
