wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
