first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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