Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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