brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
