your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
