please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
