u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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