They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
