my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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