a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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