You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
