I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You pole danced in your parka.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
