Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
we're making bets on your personal life
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
