Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
