I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize