omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We are two peas in an std pod
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
