Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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