that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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