Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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