i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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