I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
