Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
