Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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