some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
