sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize
