Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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