thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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