so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
