it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
