Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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