When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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