Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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