bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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