i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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