there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You need a sexual gate keeper
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
