never play flip cup with pint glasses
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
