i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
