i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
