ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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