I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
