Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
