Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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