there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
