Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
