i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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